extraordinary.

I'm not a fan of the ordinary.

I'm just not.

In fact, while I've been mulling over sitting down to write this post, I've been considering how much I loathe the ordinary and it has put me in a rather unpleasant mood.

I'm a dreamer, an idealist, an extremist.

What a terrible disappointment to live in a world that functions on the wave link of reality.

In the pictures of my mind, life is full of wonder, passion, and inspiration. I have this burning inside of me to live for the miraculous and the extraordinary. This is who I am.

Unfortunately, sometimes the Dreamer Joanna bumps into the Out-of-Clean-Laundry Joanna in the hallway of my life and knocks all loveliness out of my hands, creating a monumental, disorganized mess all over the floor.

Ugh.

Life is full of the ordinary.

Can I confess something embarrassing? I feel like I do far better handling the "significant" issues of life than I do the simplest, everyday tasks.

You know, the life maintenance type stuff:
Food, water, sleep, exercise, organization, cleanliness...etc.

These things are just plain boring to me.

Sometimes I pitch a fit about the difficulty of being disciplined in such "stupid, unimportant, time consuming...etc" areas of life.

Super mature, I know.

Sometimes I give up and attempt blissful ignorance as those areas fall by the wayside (cue the "out-of-clean-laundry" incident).

Super smart, I know.

Running from the ordinary hasn't served me well. So, I've decided to do an about-face and look my longstanding foe in the eye.

"Hello, ordinary. Nice to see you again. How's your family? Nice weather we've been having, although it's a little too cold for my taste."

Now, are you ready for the ugly?

This is what I discovered when I looked honestly at my hatred for good ol' ordinary:

I hate it, because...I want to be extraordinary. And I'm not. 

I'm a 100% organic, home grown, ordinary human.

I find myself broken, needy, and weak when I long to be mended, sufficient, and strong. I find myself dull and boring in the moments I want to be spectacular and exciting.

So on an ordinary morning, in an ordinary apartment, this ordinary girl sat down to have a chat with the One who cares about her not so ordinary desires.

Hey Abba,

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning... To be 100% honest, I don't really want to be talking to you right now. Would you bring me back to your feet and reveal yourself to me? I've been getting bored with you. I know I shouldn't! You are limitless.

Why is it so hard to just be? 

...I want to be acceptable to you...I want you to be pleased with me. 

...I'm disappointed with myself...I feel like I've been trying so hard...and I still don't know how to navigate life."

When all the words, and a few tears, had spilled on the pages of my journal, I sat in the stillness and I heard Him.

"Joanna, I need you to let me be God."

Ugh. Nailed it.

"God, I feel like I have all this pressure to make my life look a certain way right now!"

"Well, is it working?"

"No."

Point made. 

This week I received an invitation from God to hang up my "extraordinary" cape and exchange it for the freedom to just be me.

Later that very same day, up to my elbows in some very ordinary soap suds and dishes, I was frustrated with myself. Why? Because as much as I want to be content with the mundane, I'm not! I don't like it. I crave something more.
The internal conflict was so irritating, that I finally put words to it and directed it at Mr. "Let-me-be-God-and-you-can-just-be-you" Himself.

"If I'm so ordinary, and life is so ordinary, then WHY did You make me like this? Why do I have such a powerful desire for more?"

He is so gentle.

"Baby girl, your longing for the extraordinary is not bad."

Wait, what?

"...In fact, I put that inside of you. You may be ordinary, but I am not. Will you let Me come be extraordinary in you?"

His words are still ringing in my ears.

"Will you let Me be extraordinary?"

Oh.

It's Him.

He doesn't need colored lights and mountain tops and award winning anthems. He requests unhindered access to my heart right here in my ordinary.

Extraordinary isn't what He needs from me, it's who He is. 

There is never a moment too normal for His nearness, too mundane for His magnificence, or too insignificant for His incredible.

There is never a moment too ordinary for Him.

So here I am, embarking on an ordinary adventure to discover an extraordinary God.

Want to join me?

.

"Great are the works of the Lord,

    studied by all who delight in them.

Full of splendor and majesty is his work,

    and his righteousness endures forever.

He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered;

    the Lord is gracious and merciful."
- Psalm 111:2-4

"The Lord is high above all nations,

    and his glory above the heavens! 

Who is like the Lord our God,

who is seated on high,

who looks far down

on the heavens and the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust

and lifts the needy from the ash heap,

to make them sit with princes,

with the princes of his people."

- Psalm 113:4-8

"these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God."

- 1 Corinthians 2:10-12