uncloaked.

“Hand it over” You said
It seems like yesterday
And with significant reluctance
I resolved to obey

“You’re wearing it again” You would whisper in my ear
And off it would come
As You calmed my anxious fears

In the safety of Your arms
I found I could forgo
That tattered cloak around me
Til in Your light she was exposed

“Was that there all along?”
The horror brought me to my knees
Who is the ugly woman
I see staring back at me?

I’ve never felt so dirty
I’ve never been more afraid
And though I know You want to hold me
I cling to my cloak of shame

I pull it tight around my shoulders
See, it’s kept me safe and warm
Through the bitter cold
And the flood season storms

In the moment I felt safe
I invited You in
Thinking You would heal me
But You’re hurting me again!

What are You doing?
Get your hands off me!
The wounds You’re trying to examine
Are places better left unseen

This heart is mine
Broken as it may be
Must You expose every crack
For a harsh world to critique?

But wait, it’s not the world
That strikes terror deep in me
Your gaze burns the most
Because you’re the God
Who really sees

I was holding it together
I was doing just fine
I was limping but surviving
Until You came along

You’re right
My defenses burned me
But, at least buried under ashes
I could drown the hurt

I’ve done things in the dark
And that’s where they belong
Out of sight, out of mind
I almost feel strong

But, under this cloak
I’m not very clean
The scars are infested
The depravity reeks

You’d never know
“See, I’ll twirl for you!”
This pretty black cloak
Keeps the real me from view

The me that’s uncontrollable
The me that rages in fury
The me that hates the good
And craves the things that destroy me

I didn't want You to see
The me that is ugly

But, the storm wrenched my cloak away
When trust loosened my grip
And I heard the sound of chains
Hit the floor with the fabric

Naked and disrobed
Nowhere left to hide
I stand here before you
And I can’t look you in the eyes

I’ve always joked about my pride
But my humor was blind
In the painful sting of humility
You opened up my eyes

This ugly woman is ashamed
Though she once held her head high
Underneath all that control
She really felt she lived a lie

Discovered here, the wounded heart
Of a frightened little girl
Innocence spoiled
Value shattered on the floor

And now it’s all exposed
And the ugly overwhelms
“Hand it over,” You once said
How could I be so dumb?

Yet, here
At the end of me, You whisper
“I’ve only just begun”

I choke back tears at the rubble
That is now clearly seen
I lift my eyes from the dust
And You’re still looking at me

Surely I must be repulsive
Why do you still want me?
My mind is assaulted
Familiar phrases taunt me

I’m weak
I’m filthy
Everything I do is wrong
I shouldn’t exist
I’m a very bad person

Within Your timeless gaze
What I see confuses me
No look of disgust
Only fierce love and mercy

“Who told you ‘you were bad?’
Who condemned you as ‘unlovely?’
Those words were never meant for you
Hear My side of the story

You were designed for beauty
But never on your own
Like a flower uprooted
You will wither without Me

The ugly that you cloaked?
Though horrific, no surprise
So draw close to Me
And look Me in the eyes

Shielding you from restoration
Hiding you from healing
Your cloak has kept you far too long
From exposure to my light”

So here I am Uncovered
To your rays Exposed
I’ve got nothing to lose
And nowhere else to go

Hoping You’ll still love me
As I slowly come undone
I’ll let this cloak unravel
To stand unashamed in the Son

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
    my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
    he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
    and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,
so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise
    to sprout up before all the nations."
-Isaiah 61:10-11